Thursday, December 20, 2007

Wookin Pa Nub

A close call today! I came into the front of the house and saw the front door standing wide open. There was no sign of Gracie, my cat who is very much in heat. Arg! We just finished giving away the first litter of kittens and now she's out making more! Wake up and smell the pheromones. How could I let this happen?

The M and I walked and drove around the neighborhood shaking a container of cat food like some kind of duck call or giant baby rattle, but to no avail. How could she resist such a hypnotic shake-o-shake noise? Shouldn't she come running out from the bushes where she must be hiding? Alas, she was nowhere to be seen. My shaking arm was getting tired so I gave up and went home. But just as I pulled into the driveway she come trotting across the yard to the front door. I was relieved but concerned. She was only gone for 20-30 minutes, so maybe we won't have more kittens. But man! no more procrastination; I've got to finish reading those DIY spay kit directions I found online.

Later, at HEB doing some shopping, I ran into my new friend, the produce guy with the eyebrow ring. I casually mentioned our little adventure with the cat while I fondled the butternut squash.

Produce Guy: waoh dude, you had a close call, yo?
Me: Yes I did, our family would have been really sad if she hadn't come home. "Inside" cats are especially eager to get outside when they're in heat.
Produce Guy: yeah, she was like, driven, to get out and connect; make like, a cosmic connection, yo
Me: er... yeah I guess so.
Produce Guy: all of us are like, hard-wired for connection, yo

He then went on to explain how people (and cats, by implication) are universally social, that we need connections with other people, and how this is on account of the Trinity, but I didn't understand what he meant by that last part. He said this desire, this drive, can be motivation for healthy connections, or good relationships, but also for self-destructive ones. He went on to explain how romance novels and pornography are essentially the same thing: a self-destructive embodiment of the universal desire for relationship.

At this point he rolled his produce cart over to the tomato section and started softly humming Johnny Lee's "Lookin' for Love in All The Wrong Places" from the Urban Cowboy soundtrack. I just stood there in stunned silence.


Anonymous said...

seriously there I think you should consider the Animal Birth Control Clinic. They offer the community a great service by doing the job at a reasonalble discount.
I'm grossed out by it all personally and humored by the thought of two men standing in HEB discussing this... More starbucks time is in order for you bro.

mightybob said...

i think mr. grocery dude makes a few good points there...