The Battle of the Bald-sith-yetti

The two young jedi land in a sea of green. Verdeworld, the savanna planet. Their assignment: to stop bald-sith-yetti from amassing any more mass. Jedi D, the senior of the two jedi, delegates the surveying task to young padawan Jono. Donned with his purple galoshes and black jedi cape, Jono uses the force like a radar, searching for the bald-sith-yetti in the vast open spaces of Verdeworld.

But bald-sith-yetti is no slouch with the force. Sensing Jedi Jono's search for him, he himself sends out a confusing multitude of false signals. The jedi are temporarily confused as the force registers radar blips all around them like twinkle lights of pure evil. (Bald-sith-yetti had been reading about electronic warfare on Wikipedia.) The jedi cautiously assume a back-to-back defensive posture and await certain attack.
Their wait is short. Bald-sith-yetti appears from nowhere, rising up out of the savanna like the ghost of St. Augustine. The jedi must use their years of training to control the waves of fear and shock. Bald-sith-yetti is over 10 feet tall and stunningly powerful, not to mention ugly. He wields a two-bladed light saber like a chef at Benihana, its blades a blur of plastic and bald-sith-yetti sound effects. The light saber battle of a lifetime ensues.

Bald-sith-yetti gets his finger whacked by Jedi Jono, and in a howl of rage, uses a force-push to throw Jedi D to the ground, rendering him temporarily unconscious.

Then, with Yoda-like speed and accuracy, Jedi Jono does a fancy overhead move, his light saber catches bald-sith-yetti square in the prodigious girth! The shriek of surprise and fury is deafening.

Awakened by the noise, Jedi D rejoins the fight, and together they end the reign of terror known as "bald-sith-yetti".
The End.