My wife, The M, is still in Houston. She and her sister have been trying to find a place for their father. They have learned to ask the following questions right off the bat:
1) is there an immediate opening?
2) are they equipped to handle belligerent patients?
3) do they allow smoking?
They found a facility today that The M likes, but there isn't an opening yet. She said it was much more peaceful and home-like than their second choice, and less than half the cost. The range of costs for these facilities surprises me. They are seeing prices in the range of $4000-9500 per month. I'm not sure how much, if any, medicare will cover.
She told me tonight on the phone that being there with him is "insane". She goes from having tender moments of connection with her father, to screaming in the car to vent frustration, to laughing with her sister about some idiosyncrasy of his, to sobbing into her pillow. She says this is the most difficult thing she has ever endured. And that's saying something.