Squire, for my next joust I need an ambu-lance

The fainting happened again. I woke up with bad cramps and felt light headed and faint. Being wary from last time, I woke up The M and told her I felt dizzy. I thought I was going to be sick out of both ends (pardon the mental images here) so she got me a bucket and propped me on the pot. Then I fainted for about 20 seconds.

I woke up for a bit but fainted again, this time for a minute or so. She had trouble keeping me from falling (on account of my girth and stature) but managed to keep me from doing a face plant like last time. But as I was not showing signs of improvement, she called 911. I didn't faint anymore, but they took me out on a gurney to an ambulance in the street. I was still kinda fuzzy headed, but I can remember The M throwing a shirt over my legs since I was only wearing a tee shirt and underwear. (Thanks babe, you're like Moses's good son, what's his name.) I can remember The M was nervous looking and worried. It was my first ambulance ride.

Seven and a half hours in the ER later, they checked me into a room for overnight observation. They did several EKGs, lots of blood work, a CT scan (my first), and stuck me with many, many needles. They also decided I was too hairy and so pulled a few thousand hairs off my chest, legs, and arms, one piece of tape at a time. No extra cost.

In the end, they ruled out bowel obstruction, heart problems, alien abduction, and kidney stones. Looks like it's just good old vesovegal syncope, which means I fainted with nausea and intestinal cramps.

This runs in the family. My mother, grandmother, and two uncles all did this too. Perhaps I am becoming more susceptible to it with age. I'm not worried.